Coaching or Therapy?
Q. I’m not anxious or depressed, but I want to be happier and achieve more. I have heard about the new Positive Psychology research and life coaching. What is the difference between therapy and coaching?
A. It sounds like you want a life that fits you better. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I feel scared to go after something I want?
- Do I second-guess myself?
- Do I procrastinate or struggle with setting limits?
- Am I too self-critical or a perfectionist?
- Do I not like the image I see in the mirror?
- Do I want to do something, but I can’t get my butt into gear to do it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not the Lone Ranger. The new science of happiness offers you the momentum you need to succeed.
Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. Your question mirrors that old Peggy Lee song, “Is That All There Is?” Well, move over, Peggy. Here’s the wonderful answer to your question. Positive Psychology research in the last 10 years indicates that you can feel happier on a daily level and, remarkably, you can actually add many happy, healthy years to your life by learning how to be happier.
To answer your question, the difference between a psychologist and a coach is training and focus. Psychologists offer a “mental health care service” and are trained to diagnose and treat psychological disorders, behavioral problems, and emotional distress. Psychotherapy addresses “what went wrong and how did you get this way.” In contrast, coaching is a “professional service” that focuses on the present and reflects “what is good and how you can make it better”. Coaching helps empower emotionally healthy clients identify personal strengths, talents, and unique capabilities that empower them to move their life forward. More balance, fulfillment, and achievement are by-products.
Coaching isn’t the latest feel-good fad. It is a behavioral science based on scientific research across all cultures. One-to-one coaching is among the most effective approaches to help you discover your best positive attributes. Your coach assists you make and sustain improvements in your overall health, happiness, and wellness. Developing “positivity” is like athletics, it requires training your happiness muscle. Coaching with a Positive Psychology coach helps you harness your personal resources to get you across the finish line a winner.
So how does coaching work? Maybe you are stuck. You know you want to change or to accomplish something, but you can’t get motivated. The trusting and nonjudgmental relationship between you and your coach offers you a profound level of support, guidance, and encouragement. Your coach enables change by focusing on your stated needs, values, vision, and goals.
Through thoughtful assessment and inquiry, collaborative problem solving, and goal setting, your coach helps you develop a doable action plan. Then your coach assists you with safe, open, honest dialogue to help you become clearer on where you are in your life, where you want to go, and how you can get there. You would learn to feel accountable to yourself. You would make and honor commitments yourself and you would reach your stated goals. One of the added benefits of coaching is how you would stretch your rubber band and accomplish more that you ever dreamed possible. It is like you put your life under a magnifying glass. Your optimism, confidence, and appreciation of yourself and others become larger and clearer. Coaching is life changing!
Coaching has a broad reach. Specialties including personal, professional, executive, business, performance, educational, relationship, work/life balance, fitness, weight loss, wellness, spiritual, and many others.
You can log onto the International Coaching Federation web site to find out more about coaching. Many coaches coach on the telephone, so distance is not an issue. The University of MI and the University of PA also offer many resources on Positive Psychology. Or you can access the authentichappiness.org web site where you can take free and fun assessments to see where you rate on the happiness and life satisfaction continuum.
Here are two easy tips for you to jumpstart happiness: Social interaction and gratitude. Sharing with others adds connectedness and meaning to your life. Also, start a gratitude journal. Daily, before you go to bed, jot down a few things that you are grateful for. Examples might be appreciating a compliment someone gave you, receiving a fun email, or being aware of little things like enjoying a good cup of coffee. Use all your senses and notice your world.
Good luck, and I bet you will soon be painting a happier picture of the new you!
Judith B. Krings, Ph.D.
Stacey E. Soeldner, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologists and Personal Coaches